Whoever We Are
by Plume224
Summary: Wherever we are, whoever we are, love finds us and it isn't always easy to live with.


Hi everyone!

English is not my native language so there might be some mistakes in this OS (don't be too rude with me then XD). Of course, feel free to leave a review, it's always a pleasure to read them.

I hope you'll like this little story of mine and I apologize in advance for the mistakes there might _-will-_ be.

Enjoy and see you soon ^^! -Plume224

* * *

 **Whoever we are**

 ** _"Tous les être ont une fatalité au bonheur" -Arthur Rimbaud_**

He was standing in the doorway of the living room, where Narcissa was sitting, a cup of tea between her pale and bony hands. Lucius was out. Draco didn't know what he was doing and he didn't want to. His father was often out these days and he suspected him to work for something dark. Deep inside of him, he knew that Lucius was working for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, he knew that Potter was right, that Voldemort had returned, but he refused to believe it. He denied the truth. His mother had told him that Lucius was at the Ministry this afternoon and he had faked to believe her, it was easier that way. He didn't want his parents to know that he was aware of his father's schemes.

When he entered the room, Narcissa raised her head and looked at him fondly. He was the most precious treasure she owned, she told him almost every day. She loved him more than her own life and Draco loved her more than anyone else. He admired his Mother for her bravery, her kindness and her beauty. She was always there for him, no matter what. She always stood up for him, even against her husband. He knew she could die to protect him and he loved her for that.

"Draco, honey." she said, smiling at him "Please, come here." she patted the free side of the couch and he sat down, wringing his hands nervously.

"Mother..." he started, shyly "I...I…Can I tell you something?"

He was nervous about what he was about to confess. He hadn't told anybody yet, but now, he had to. His secret was too much to bear. He had to tell her, she'd listen to him and she wouldn't judge him. He wasn't sure of this last point, but he hoped to. She wasn't going to like what he had to say but he'd rather tell her than his father.

"Of course Draco." She replied gently, putting her hand, covered in expensive rings and wristbands, on his left knee and squeezing it. "What do you want to tell me?"

"Promise me you won't tell Father. He probably, well, surely, won't like it."

Narcissa gave him an inquiring look but she nodded anyway.

"Thank you." he whispered. "So…Mother, I...I think…" he stopped. Did he really want to tell her his secret? For another family, it was something very common, but not for the Malfoys. For his family, his secret was a sin, the worst of all.

He lowered his head, looking at his feet. He wasn't used to be this shy, but today, maybe for the first time of his life, he was terrified of talking to the woman who had given him birth.

Seeing that he wasn't going to continue, she encouraged him "Keep going Draco, I'll listen."

The young blond boy took a deep breath "I think I'm in love."

And he was. Desperately.

"But son, this is wonderful!" she cried "Why do you look so concern? Love is an amazing gift!"

"She…The girl… with whom I am in love…" he stammered, looking for the right words "She is… muggle-born."

He did it! He couldn't believe that he did it. Did he really just say to his mother that he was in love with a muggle-born? According to Narcissa's dreadful face, yes, he just had told her the truth. He had fallen in love with a 'Mudblood', it was a crime. But he couldn't feel otherwise. His undying love for her was real.

He had loved her for a couple months now, since the Yule Ball in fact. She had blown his mind with her beautiful dress and her aura. He had never felt this way before, and as the days had passed, he had been obsessed with her. He had always been looking for her around the castle, especially at the library. When she was there, he couldn't help but look at her, to scan her, to admire the slightest details of her face and body. And one day, he had realized that, in spite of himself, he was in love with her. Hermione Granger. He had feelings for the Know-It-All of Hogwarts, for the filthy little Mudblood.

"Are you sure Draco?" Narcissa asked seriously. "Are you certain of your feelings for this girl?"

She didn't sound as excited as she was before. However, she wasn't angry. If she had been Lucius, she would have yelled at him and probably slapped him. If she had been him, she would have told him that he was dishonoring his family, his name. But she wasn't him, she was patient and understanding. She was his mother, his lovely mother.

"I'm sure mother. If I were not, I wouldn't have told you."

He looked up at her and saw that she had put her hands on her forehead, as if she was thinking hardly. She was certainly wondering what to say. She was probably lost. Lost between the fact that her son was in love with someone of an inferior race and the fact that if her husband were to find it out, he would be angrier than ever.

"Who is she? Do I know her?"

He wavered between a lie and the truth.

"Er…It's…Promise me to not tell Father." He was afraid that he could discover it, afraid of what his father could do if he ever found out who she was. He could hurt him, his own son, but worst, he could hurt _her_. Draco didn't want her to suffer because of him. He wanted her to be safe even if that meant that he will have to stay away from her. He could do anything to keep her safe from his father.

"Son, I've promised you just a minute ago. Now, tell me."

"It's Granger. Hermione Granger." He admitted in a very low voice, almost imperceptible.

"She is Harry Potter's best friend, isn't she?" she asked but Draco knew that she already knew the answer. She knew everything about her. During the last four years, he had told her so many anecdotes about the bookworm. He had told his mother, that she was an insufferable little Know-it-all and that she was the ugliest girl he had ever seen. He had told her that he hated her.

"I thought you hated her?"

Was she able to read his mind?

"I know mother, and I _really_ did hate her. But not anymore. I know I shouldn't. I'd like to get her out of my mind but I can't! She is always there."

He glanced at his mother, his eyes glittering because of the tears which were threatening to flow down his cheeks. These tears weren't of sadness, he wasn't sad, he was discouraged. Discouraged because he shouldn't love Hermione, discouraged because he didn't know what to do about that. He wasn't supposed to be in love with her, she was muggle-born! Since he was a child, he had been taught with the principle that if someone was muggle-born, it meant that this person was filthy and shouldn't be allowed to practice magic. He had been taught that he was a Malfoy and that he _couldn't_ love a Mudblood.

But, in spite of all these 'rules', love had found him and had hit him. Hard, deep.

"Draco…" the two-colored hair woman said slowly, while running a hand through her son's blond hair "You know I love you, more than anything, but you can't be with her honey. She is a…" she didn't finish her sentence.

"A Mudblood!" Draco yelled, chasing his mother's hand away "I know that! But I told you, I can't get her out of my mind" he pointed out his head "of my _heart."_ he added, his finger now pointing out his chest.

He was upset as never. Did she really think that he didn't know _what_ Hermione was? Did she really think that he didn't know that he couldn't be with her? He wasn't silly. He perfectly knew that. When he saw his mother's face starting to crumble, he immediately regretted his previous words. He had been quite rude with her, while she had tried to be nice.

To be forgiven, he took her hands in his and held them.

"I'm sorry Mother…" he apologized "I shouldn't have talked to you like that, it's just that… I don't know what to do. I know that I'm not supposed, _allowed_ , to love her and if I could go back in time and never fall in love, I won't hesitate a second, but…What can I do Mother?"

Narcissa shook her head, her eyes closed.

"I don't know either Draco" she answered "I don't know… Are you sure, I mean, _really_ sure, that you love her? She might be just someone you find attractive."

"I told you" he repeated for the second time "I'm sure of my feelings for her."

Of course he found her attractive. Of course he thought that she was beautiful, especially when her hair was up, because like that, he was able to see her delicate and smooth neck. Each time he saw her neck, all he wanted to do was to leave a million of kisses on her tanned and perfect skin. All he wished was to hold her in his arms and never let her go. But she wasn't only gook looking, it was much more than that. She was smart, very smart and even if he called her a Know-It-All, the thought that it was a quality. The way she scrunched her nose when she was working on a difficult essay, was very cute and irresistible, according to Draco. He wanted her all to himself. She was his, not Potter's, nor Weasley's. His. She belonged to him. But it was wrong! He shouldn't be felling this way!

Since the Yule Ball, his vision of Hermione had changed. The day before, he was still thinking about her as a filthy creature, as an abomination against the nature. But then, she had appeared in her wonderful dress and something inside of Draco had changed. It was unexplainable. What was the muggle term for this kind of situation again? _Love at first sight_ a little birdie whispered in his mind.

He stood up, leaving the couch where they were sitting, and walked to the huge window. The rays of the sun were passing through it and illuminated the room which was, usually, plunged into darkness. When he reached the window, he put his forehead onto the cold glass and sighed loudly. His blast created some mist right under his nose and mouth.

"Why did I go to this stupid Ball? ." he grunted "Why did she wear this _fucking_ dress?" he hit the amount of the window with his fists.

"Draco…" started Narcissa "There might be something I can do about your…problem."

"What?" he asked, still turning his back to her.

She didn't answer immediately and he could feel that she was nervous. What was her idea?

"I'm not sure I can do it, honey." she whispered.

"Just tell me, please."

"I can erase your memories. Your memories about her." she finally said.

Brilliant! He found it brilliant. Why hadn't he thought about it earlier? If she erased his memories about the Yule Ball, he wouldn't be in love with Hermione anymore. He would forget everything about her. He would forget that he found her beautiful and she would leave his mind once and for all.

"Do it Mother." he told her authoritatively.

He knew he was too rude with her, but he was desperate and it was obviously the only way to put an end to his 'impossible love story'. She had to do it, now, before he changed his mind. Because, even if he wanted to forget her, a part of him didn't want to. He wanted his mother to erase his memories because, after that, Lucius wouldn't discover his feelings out and Granger would be safe from him. He had to forget her, it was much better for both of them. But, deep inside of him, he didn't want to forget her. She was his first _real_ love. She was his sunshine. She was a part of him now.

"Do it! Before I change my mind. Now!" he yelled again to Narcissa.

"I can't." Draco could feel, only in her voice, how torn she was "I can't cast a spell on you. You are my only son, the one I love the most in this world, I can't curse you."

She was kidding him! She just had suggested him a clever solution, and now, she was telling him that she was enable to act! He felt his anger rise in him, from his toes to his brain. Every inch of his body was boiling with rage.

He turned around and faced his mother. His fists were clenched as he tried to contain his nerves and his grey eyes were shooting bolts.

"You have to do it!" he screamed at her "This is the only solution!" seeing that she was shaking her head, the blond added "Would you rather have a blood-traitor son or have to hex him, precisely to prevent him to become one ?"

She looked at him sadly and he saw a tear rolling down her cheek. He understood her, he understood that she didn't want to use magic on him, but she couldn't do anything else, she had to take his memories away, it was for his best, for his family's, _and for Hermione's_.

Draco moved forward and kneeled in front of the woman all dressed in black.

"Listen Mother…" he started again, more quietly "This spell isn't going to hurt me. I'll be fine." he took her wand which was laying on the tea table next to the sofa and put it between her fragile hands. "Do it Mother."

She inspected her wand, like if she was discovering it for the first time and then, she plunged her pale blue eyes in his.

"All right" she gave up "I'll do it."

Draco blew of relief. Finally he was going to be free, he wasn't going to risk to be a victim of the fury of Lucius anymore. He stood up, a serious look stuck on his livid face. "I'm ready" he declared.

He saw Narcissa raised her wand and pointed it at him. He saw her closed her eyes. He heard her whispered " _Obliviate_ " and then, everything went black.

When he woke up several minutes later, he was laying on the couch, his head on his mother's knees. She was stroking his hair, just like when he couldn't sleep as he was a child. He felt sleepy and he had a monstrous headache. What was he doing here? Why was he feeling so tired suddenly? He tried to think about the last hours that had passed but all he could remember was what he had eaten for lunch. He rose up and sat next to Narcissa.

"How are felling honey?"

"Er…My head hurts but…Mother? What happened? Why can't I remember the last two hours?" he asked, worried.

Instead of answering him, she asked "Draco, honey, who is Hermione Granger?"

The face of the young witch appeared in his mind and he thought he was going to throw up his lunch. Why was she talking about this bloody Mudblood?

"She is Potter's and Weasley's best friend" he spitted "She is an insufferable Know-It-All, she is far the ugliest girl of all Hogwarts. She is a fucking filthy Mudblood. Why did you ask me that?"

Once again, she didn't reply. She just looked reassured, as if she was released of an intolerable burden. He didn't understand Narcissa's reaction. And he never did.

THE END


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